I have a problem with an instructor that has caused some severe problems with my family. I restart back into karate 2 1/2 years ago. I was able to find an instructor that had a background in military self defense as well as Okinawa style karate and kobudo. Since i wanted to get back into martial arts for self defense he seemed like the right guy. Now I am a green belt, one stipe away from my brown belt. My son and wife are now brown belts. We are all award winning karate-ka in sport kumita, weapons and open hand kata. But we do no bunkai or self defence to speak of. "We do not have the basics yet" In the beginning I was told how great this style was for fighting and how the masters were the first to use bogu gear so that no one gets hurt during all the sparring. My wife loves the kata part of it all. But the son and I know that we still do not know enough to be confident in a self defense application. The instructer and I had a talk about this issue. I understood him to imply that when we got our 3rd black belt that we could start learning the lethal technique of the kata and bunkai. I told him that I thought this was unexceptable. He suggested that I go to other dojos to see how they operate. I went to a Krav Maga instructor. While there I saw what I thought was a good type of class for what I was looking for. The instructor was also a 6th Black belt in Okinawa style. He was able to show me the similarity between the KM and our kata. And what an advantage we have with the kata and basic techniques. In one 2 hour class I was able to see and experiance more self defence work then I saw in 2 years before. I am going to start taking KM and continue to do kata for all the good I see in kata. Is this the normal way to teach? What do I do with the family that only see how much they like the instructor and not the lacking of the class.